It’s not always men are responsible for every argument that happens between the couple. A discussion can turn into a disagreement when we try to convince our partner of our point of view. What turns such a discussion into a fight is that we lose sight of our partner’s need for his or her point of view to be heard and respected.
Many a times, women can recognize how they contribute to a conflict by looking over the following list of common mistakes they make.
1. Raising Your Voice
Not only raising your voice but using strong emotional tones like accusing, whining, mocking and sarcastic. In order to curb this habit, try to say unemotional.
2. Focusing on complaints and not offering solutions
What if you could offer solution to a problem rather than focusing on complaints? A woman sometimes is not asking for what she wants. Instead, you should make a man the solution rather than the problem. Your sentence should begin with, “I would really like …”, or “Would you please …” rather than “I don’t like it when…”
3. Bringing up old issues every time
“This is just how I felt when you …” Don’t muddy the disagreement by using your emotional memory as a bludgeon.
4. Being unwilling to forgive until he changes
Understanding your partner’s needs should enable you to be generous in your love. Waiting for your partner to make a change before opening your heart makes it more difficult for your partner to make a positive change.
5. Expecting him to respond like a woman instead of a man
It is important for women to familiarize themselves with the mistakes they make during a fight. Acknowledging the differences is more productive. You should ask sentences like these “I understand it is difficult for you to talk about this …” or I know you want to solve the problem.”
You don’t have to wait until you have a fight to reflect on this list. One way to avoid fights is to find a time when you are feeling good about yourself and then read over the list and rate yourself. Find out which common mistakes you make and imagine having a fight without making them. This kind of mental role-playing is very powerful.