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Dear Chindi,
I love you.
Do you expect to hear this after sheepishly grinning on the line – bhai aaj tu bill pay karde, mai aaj paise nahi laya.
Or, when you take a shower in my washroom (every time) on the vintage pretext – aaj paani nahi aa raha, thinking an X-men would be accounted for the empty shower gel
Or, when you confidently say – I am not hungry and eat my entire pizza.
First, this is not just a rant, but a truth coming out from sheer honesty. I do value our friendship, and am grateful for the times you have been next to me, while I needed a friend, but could you please stop complaining about the lesser quantity of chakna in my post break up reconciliation gatherings? Sometimes, at least!
Second, I know you would probably hate me for saying all this, but I won’t stop today, and you had this coming one at a time.
So, hear it out one by one.
One by one.
And here it goes:
Origin of the word ‘Chindi’ – Believe me you won’t get surprised
The word chindi originated from Navajo religious belief and translates to the one who leeches on a dead body, the qualities that linger around the body even after the soul has left.
Reminds you of something pal? Chindi.
You invented the term ‘Recession’ and it probably led you to doing Chindi Chori
I fail to understand how you manage to pay for expensive stuffs, when you never had the money. Stop pretending like you were the worst hit with the recession, because our ears are really, really tired of hearing.
Have mercy – if not on my credit card bills then kidneys!
I understand your excitement for Friday night party, or for late Saturday night show of Logan (movie), but do consider – stag entries and so are matinees, and I don’t intend on selling my kidneys. Not so early.
Can I skip treating you every month for relationship anniversaries? Even my girlfriend has stopped nagging
Bhai aaj 3 mahine ho gaye tere relationship ko. Party.
Bhai aaj se 3 saal pehle aayi thi teri nayi gaadi. Party
Bhai aaj mausam acha hai. Party.
Like Seriously?
For once, can I not share my cigarette?
Cigarette smoking is injurious to health and believe me, I completely understand your intentions to release the load off my lungs, but could you let me light an entire, just for this once.
Bitch please, let me light in peace!
Stop crashing my party with your chindi buddies.
Chindi – Chindi
Bhai – Bhai
I totally get it. But please not in my house party.
I don’t have a change works no more. Please try something new. B.d.w, you have Paytm, right?
We all love Akshay Kumar in Hera Pheri for his 1000 ka note gimmick. But FYI, even my rikshawala now accepts Paytm
Did you buy the car thinking it might run on water?
Whenever we go for a ride, your car runs low on petrol and wallet on cash. Didn’t you check it requires fuel before buying?
I don’t mind paying your share, as long as it doesn’t become the sole purpose of my life. Money was never important that’s why I would pay for your movie tickets again tomorrow, even after bitching.
It's time you realise.
Your friend,
Who isn’t a CHINDI
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